Jimmy Miller (1921-2002)—who lived all of his 80 years in the rolling hills of Upstate NY—was a teacher.
The Cornell wrestling coach and pastor in our home, the man with the Big Smile people still talk about today, was always “preaching”—in a good way.
Through stories, parables, analogies, and metaphors, he imparted wisdom—constantly.
Little did I know that his teachings would become part of every book written by his youngest. A quick list:
QBQ! Coach Jimmy’s metaphor about “being good enough to beat the ref” has helped many understand both the danger—and the “wrongness”—of blaming what we can’t control. More on this amazing life principle here.
Flipping the Switch Here he pops up twice. One time by sharing the truth that driving is a NO EXCUSES endeavor—just like life—and another when he went the extra mile for this 17-year-old just days after his wife, my mom, died so unexpectedly at age 51.
Outstanding! Coach Jimmy, through a conversation with thirtysomething me, reveals the power of having “clarity of purpose.” (Psst—outstanding organizations have that, too.)
Raising Accountable Kids A well-timed, encouraging word to me after totally blowing a high school wrestling match demonstrates to parents the power of saying the right thing at the right time to our offspring. Good stuff.
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My best childhood friend and best man in my wedding met me for dinner in Syracuse, NY, several years ago. We talked about our dads, both gone by then. His father, a Cornell University “Industrial and Labor Relations” professor, was known worldwide in the labor negotiation field.
As we chatted, my buddy’s eyes welled up:
“My dad was a ‘renowned expert’ who shared everything he knew with people he didn’t know—then took it all to the grave. He never taught me a thing.”
It was a sad moment, one that, to my surprise, revealed that not all fathers fully understand their role as teachers.
I am thankful Coach/Pastor Jimmy did. 🙏🏼
So, in this Father’s Day week, we’ll close with a question:
Dads, are you a teacher of good stuff?
For comment:
Feel free to share here what your dad taught you!
6 Responses
I went into the Coast Guard just 2 years out of High School (2 years of college) and then was all over the world for the next 20 years. As a result I lost physical contact with both my Dad and my Mom and definitely with my siblings. It was not until my Dad had passed that I realized just how important he was in my personal development when I came to the understanding that I grew up just like my Dad, especially his work ethic. Cats in the Craddle! Harry Chapin. “I grew up just like him!”:
Yep, that song is soooo true. Thanks, Jim!
My dad taught me that kindness and compassion did not have to be accompanied by words. After one particular difficult break up with someone I thought I would one day marry, I walked into my parents’ home, sat in a wingback chair in their living room and quietly cried. My dad got up, went into the kitchen and returned with a full box of facial tissues and a paper lunch bag carefully opened with each edged folded down so it would stay open. He quietly set it beside me and we all just sat there in quiet, processing feelings, emotions and the future. That happened maybe 35 years ago and my eye well up today thinking of his strength in that moment. It was perfect and I have never forgotten it.
Betsy, wow, what a sad but sweet moment! Thanks for telling us about it.
my dad taught me…
1.to always try things yourself first before asking for help.
2. do it right the first time or you will be revisiting the task at hand
3. take time to be with your family and make special memories
He is 87 now and slowed down a lot… tough to see a guy who can’t do what he always did and now has accepted it.
At least he has no regrets and says it was a good life. That is what we must all strive for in life… to know we took control of our God given ability and be content with the time we had here. Every day we make choices!!
Troy, sounds like a good man! Thank you!