QBQ! Reflection: Am I Changing Me?

In the 1980s, the Millers dove into “social styles” personality profile material—Amiable, Driver, Analytical, Expressive—to discover my wife, Karen, is more Amiable and I am more Driver.

Then came the critter-based content; I’m a take-charge Lion and she’s a sweet Golden Retriever. 😁

After that, Myers-Briggs: Karen is all “F” (Feeler) while I’m all “T” (Thinker).

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The 5 Cs of Strong Parenting (don’t be a weak parent!)

parenting-strong-consequences-accountable

“You don’t really have 7 kids, do you?!”

Yep, we sure do. When Karen and I married in 1980, having seven children was not the plan. Actually, there was no plan.

It’s been a wonderful ride, though, and with “the kids” now 36-years-old down to 21, we’ve learned a bunch. In fact, we’ve even formed some firm opinions. 😉

What We Have Learned About Parenting

One steadfast belief we hold is this: STRONG parenting beats WEAK parenting.

Our parenting years began in 1983 and have coincided with a world of change in the world. Everything from “participation trophies” to increased entitlement and victim thinking to college-age students needing “safe spaces” so they’re not offended. There’s simply been a ton of societal change.

Much of it working against parents who want to raise accountable kids.

Children have always needed strong parenting, but more than ever, modern-day moms and dads are the salmon swimming upstream against a cultural current that fails to promote the core tenet of the QBQ! book:

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Leadership: How To Win In Today’s Marketplace

Win a FREE autographed QBQ! book. Comment below to be entered into our 9/16/19 drawing!

When you chat with the COO of a 7,000-person retail chain, along with its VP of Ops leading 70+ locations, you listen.

Visiting with Steve Black and Clint Adams of Rouses Markets, I discovered that rumors of the death of “brick & mortar” retailers are greatly exaggerated. This thriving southern U.S. grocery chain founded in 1923 plans to be around for a long, long time.

Here’s what Steve, Clint, and the Rouses leadership team are doing right:

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Helping People Play Victim Does NOT Help People

helping, hand, helping hand, serve others, victim thinking

Humans seem hardwired to play victim, making us susceptible to asking victim-oriented questions:

Why is this happening to me?

Why can’t I get a break?

Why don’t I have what others have?

Why don’t people do more for me?

Pity Parties are instinctual, natural — and harmful. What do they accomplish? Know this:

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JUST 225 WORDS: Do I Play The Blame Game?

No matter how well we think we know and practice the QBQ! book’s message of Personal Accountability— blame can creep into our lives. We must remain vigilant! Enjoy!

A popular 1970’s meme (before memes existed) was —The Devil Made Me Do It.

Today, we hear this popular media-driven phrase: ”There’s plenty of blame to go around!”

It’s our nature to ask Whodunnit? when the unplanned, painful, disappointing, or embarrassing occurs. When stuff happens, it’s so easy to spread the blame —

“Well, yes, I did that, but, you see, they made me do it.”

“I accept 65% of the blame, but he’s 35% responsible, too!”

Or simply, “Not my fault!”

It’s difficult for humans to state …

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199 WORDS: The Simplicity of Being Outstanding!

outstanding, home depot

Is providing outstanding customer service complicated? Let’s hear from Antonio, reader of Outstanding!

John, we gutted and remodeled our kitchen. Almost complete, it looked amazing! We only needed a backsplash. Our in-demand contractor said he could do the install the next weekend.

We found the perfect tile online at Home Depot. However, arriving at the store to purchase it, we learned the product in stock didn’t match the computer inventory.

Two cartons short! And we had a deadline.

That’s when department manager, Jake, really impressed. He could’ve said, “Sorry.” Instead —

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199 WORDS: The Power In NOT Responding

Recently, a person’s sarcastic, harsh words wounded me. Key people in my life were indignant for me and encouraged me to respond.

I didn’t.

Trust me, I’ve never shied away from “retaliating.” On this day, though, I chose to not be the guy my dad often railed against:

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199 WORDS: What Would YOU Have Said?

I spoke in Ithaca, NY on “Personal Accountability” in Warren Hall to 100 Cornell University students. It was … surreal.

I took classes in Warren, graduating in 1980—and had never been back.

Afterward, student Joseph lamented, “Mr. Miller, it’d be difficult to use your ideas here because of ‘moral dependency’ … .”

Not knowing that phrase, I showed complete confusion, but he continued with a vocabulary 5x mine.

Finally, my old brain needed clarity like lungs need oxygen. I interjected, “Joseph, you’re saying you don’t want to play the victim but friends, peers, and the campus culture say you are a victim?”

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