CRACK!!!
What. The. Heck.
Turning toward the loud noise with great trepidation, I was shocked—and not happy. My wife’s 2023 Toyota Corolla Cross back window was gone thanks to an errant baseball thrown by a 10-year-old grandson to his 9-year-old cousin.
I’m sure that years from now, both boys’ unforgettable and negative memories of this moment will be framed like this: “Grandpa just stood there, mouth open, saying … nothing. Grandpa was never speechless!” 😆
With the window gone and tiny glass pieces scattered all over the driveway, it truly required immense mental discipline. How easily it could have been to shame the youngsters with, “What were you guys thinking?!” “Why did you boys do this?!” and “You kids today are so irresponsible!”
But that’s not what happened. I calmly told one grandson, “Please grab that broom from the back patio,” and to the other, “There’s a dustpan in the garage; please bring it to me.”
As I was cleaning up, Grandma “Nonnie” Karen, the vehicle owner, appeared to survey the damage. She was just as amazed as I was at how easily that baseball broke that window and, being human, wanted to yell at someone. 😬
However, over time, the content of the QBQ! book has become ingrained into this family. Not bragging; just saying. When humans strive to live by a principle, day in and day out, such as Personal Accountability, it can be practiced reflexively, in the moment, when most needed.
So, instead of reacting with blame, anger, and victim thinking, Karen said, “I am the one who told the boys to play out on the driveway. I should’ve moved my car.”
My response: “I saw them doing this, but it didn’t cross my mind to tell them to move away from the car. My bad.”
And all was calm. The QBQs (tutorial here), “What could I have done differently?” and “How could I have prevented this mess?” had been employed.
And had worked.
Two young boys breathed huge sighs of relief because the Boomer grandparents handled the moment with QBQ!
And they both said “I’m sorry” multiple times.
Yet, the Miller family’s journey of Personal Accountability wasn’t finished. The next day, one of the boys gave Nonnie a note apologizing and stating his hope that “it doesn’t cost too much money to fix the glass.” 👏🏻
In the end, it was an experience that reminded us, as adults, to avoid overreacting, to refrain from pointing fingers, and instead to look inward. It also gave two youngsters the chance to take ownership and be accountable—a skill that will benefit them throughout life. And isn’t it a parent’s goal to be Raising Accountable Kids? (Enjoy our parenting book!)
Describe a time when you modeled Personal Accountability at work or home for those around you—or you had it modeled for you. Share!
