Wondering why marriage is called an “institution,” I asked A.I.
Marriage is a long-standing, culturally accepted social structure with established rules, expectations, and consequences for behavior. Marriage is not just a personal relationship but also a formal structure with legal and societal implications.
Interesting.
Of course, marriage could also be described as satisfying, challenging, fun, sometimes blissful, sometimes frustrating, a way to not go through life alone.
When we married on June 21, 1980, my bride, Karen, was 19, and I was 22. Forty-five years!
The journey has been all those adjectives above—but one word Karen and John would never apply to our marriage:
Regret.
We both say, “I made the right choice.” Yes, I’ve asked her. 😉
Marriage also lends itself to procreation, and the Millers have done our part: four biological children and three adopted, for a total of seven. Only one is a son.
Mike and his wife, Casey, own SunPrairieFilms.com, and they travel beautiful Colorado, photographing and filming weddings. You might (or might not!) be amazed at how much money people will invest in forever pictures and videos of their special day in the Rocky Mountains.
Though we’re proud of our younger Millers for the business they’ve grown from scratch and how they serve their clientele, I sometimes wonder how many of these couples spending big bucks capturing their big day on film will someday … divorce?
We all know that, for some people, marriages/relationships are like home printers: disposable. When they break down, they’re tossed away, only to be replaced with a new one.
However, many marriages do work. And why is that? We asked that question in our QBQ! Facebook Group (join us!), and upon receiving many responses, we created this list for you.
And for … John and Karen. 👍🏻
Like life, marriage is an ongoing journey of growth. We can improve by acquiring new thinking, skills, and habits.
So, which of these must you improve on today? We’d love to hear from you!
17 Marriage Ideas That Work
1. Talk talk talk talk talk …
2. Keep the past in the past
3. Forgive and seek forgiveness
4. Work to change only oneself
5. Make clear and direct requests
6. Be playful; have a sense of humor
7. See your spouse as your best friend
8. Let no person/possession divide you
9. Aim to see the other’s point of view
10. Involve your spouse in decisions
11. Default to trust, not suspicion
12. Never say “always” or “never”
13. Heap praise upon each other
14. Forego the need to be right
15. Apologize now, not later
16. Employ no sarcasm
17. Parent as a team
Now that you’ve read this list, share your thoughts … right after sending this blog to all the couples you know. Thank you!
4 Responses
I have number 18!!! Acknowledge and thank your spouse for things they do for you and for your family.
I make sure my husband knows that I SEE what he does for me. He does things quietly and I could say to myself “well, he did this, but I did that and it is equal so I don’t need to tell him I saw that.” But it makes both he and I feel good when we verbalize what the other does. When I tell him, he starts acknowledging me as well, so when the more challenging things happen, we are partners together with no past resentment.
Amen, Betsy! And excellent! Thanks for sharing.
John,
Thanks for sharing the list.
I like to say that all marraiages need continuous LUC (Love, Understanding, Commitment).
Good stuff, David! Thanks for sharing!