“Why me?” is the easiest question to ask — yet there’s no value in it at all.
I grew up in a good family. My father was successful and popular, my mom loving and giving. My parents never divorced. We didn’t ever go hungry. Hence, some people assume I’ve lived a “charmed life.”
Well, it’s not all been charming …
The truth is, my dad battled alcoholism, my mom unexpectedly died at 51-years-old of a brain aneurysm days before I turned 17, and I’ve suffered from a chronic illness that comes and goes since I was 20.
However, life has been plenty good … and when I refrain from “Why me?” it’s even better.
I’m a 62-year-old author and professional speaker with 7 offspring and 12 grandchildren. I’ve even had the same terrific wife since 1980. Karen is a real blessing to me. However, we’ve had our marital struggles, big time.
I’m pretty sure she has asked, “Why me?” on some days! ?
Who Can Ask “Why me?”
Truthfully, any of us could ask “Why me?” What does that do for me?
Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
The moment I ask “Why me?” I’ve declared I’m a victim, and here’s the problem with victim thinking: It serves no one. Not even … me.
All humans must fight the desire to feel and act like a victim. We must constantly strive to be vigilant. Why? Because life is better in all respects when I’m not playing the victim.
How can I become a better me when I’m feeling sorry for myself? And who doesn’t want to be a better me? ?
There is No Value in “Why me?”
Simply put, nothing good comes from victim-itis. Here are five <negative> realities of Victim Thinking:
1. When I’m a victim, nothing is my fault.
2. When I’m a victim, there are no expectations of me.
3. When I’m a victim, someone always owes me.
4. When I’m a victim, no personal growth is required.
5. When I’m a victim, anger and entitlement rule my life.
Go ahead, reread that list, please. Do you want any to exist in your life?
I don’t in mine.
Overcoming “Why me?”
I wrote the QBQ! book on Personal Accountability to help us guard against victim thinking. When life goes against me, I can follow the victim path — or ask accountable questions (we call them QBQs, here’s a brief tutorial) like, “What can I do to learn from this experience?” “How can I move forward today?” and “What can I do right now to be my best?”
So, the question becomes — for you and for me —will I ask “Why me?” or QBQs today? As always, the choice is mine.
Of our 5 realities of Victim Thinking above, which has been prevalent in my life?