Who Is In Charge of Your Family?

I delivered a “Personal Accountability and the QBQ!” session to a 60 person department of a university in Salt Lake City. Since QBQ! applies to all people, I always mention our new Parenting the QBQ Way book. I also made the comment to this fine group that there is a trend toward “wimpy parenting.” The response? A chorus of “Amens!

And then this nice email came in:

Pqw jacket

Hi, John!

I very much enjoyed your QBQ! presentation on Tuesday. I told my husband about the presentation, especially the portions about parenting, because we have a 2 year-old. He looked at me and said, “We have to buy that book!”

Since Tuesday we have been looking in “the mirror” … a lot.

At dinner that night we had salmon with dill and baked potato with chives. Our toddler looked at her plate and said “Take the green off.” I hate to admit that my first thought was to wipe off the dill and chives, but then I stopped and said, “No, this is what we’re eating.” My husband liked that approach, so jumped in to back me up with, “Eat your meal, Sweetie.”

She ate it all!

My daughter also has poor sleep habits and I have asked victim-thinking questions such as, “Why won’t she go to sleep?” and “Why doesn’t she sleep more?” This week, using your message of personal accountability, I’m asking, “What can I do more of to better prepare her to fall asleep?” We’ve made some positive and constructive changes to her bed-time routine that are helping already!

So we bought Parenting the QBQ Way in the eBook format and love it! I plan to purchase the new paperback version so I can highlight my favorite portions and tab the pages with yellow sticky-notes. We’re feeling motivated to be stronger parents so that our daughter doesn’t become entitled or learn to be a blamer/whiner.

So, I just wanted to drop you a note to say “Thank You!”


There’s nothing like parents who know that “Child in Charge” is not the way to run a household. A blanket of loving authority is what children need and want to be wrapped in. That’s why they are the kids and we moms and dads are “the big people” in their lives.

Congrats to Susan and her hubby for being parents who choose to learn, grow, and change. As we say in the book, PARENTING IS A LEARNED SKILL!


What is your biggest frustration as a parent?

In what area of parenting would you like to improve?

Who’s in charge in your household

Comment away!

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2 Responses

  1. Boy, that is a nice note!. I’ll bet it made your day. I so appreciate your getting the word out that child in charge is not the way to run a household. Kids really do need to know that their parents will draw boundaries to keep them safe and gradually expand them as child grows. I think your phrase “blanket of loving authority” says it beautifully. Thank you

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