Are We Raising Victims? 13 Beliefs to NOT Teach Our Children

Skimming a recent Facebook debate, a comment made by a dad caught my eye. In a good way, he masterfully shut down the argument.

As his debate opponent lamented what is “happening to our world” and fretted about how “the children” will be affected, this wise father calmly replied, “I don’t worry about my kids. I didn’t raise victims.

Well done, Dad. As Shakespeare wrote, “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

Let me now say what that father said in different words:

Life is hard enough without constantly reminding/teaching our children that life is hard.

Which leads to this question: Are we raising victims? Let’s find out with this checklist …

13 Beliefs to NOT Teach Our Children

  1. Life should be fair.
  2. I’ve been cheated.
  3. Everything is about me.
  4. I am entitled; I am owed.
  5. People are out to hurt me.
  6. It’s my right to be offended.
  7. My mistakes are not my fault.
  8. The government is my keeper.
  9. The wealthy didn’t earn what they have.
  10. Achievement is based on who you know.
  11. Those who don’t agree with me are “haters.”
  12. Success is about chance, not the choices I make.
  13. Having the right to do something makes it the right thing to do.

We could go on, but let’s stop at 13 and pose another question:

Are we teaching victim-itis to the next generation or teaching our children to rise above, contribute, and make a difference in the lives of others?

That is, to be victors.

We recently posted an image on our QBQ! Facebook page (join/Like us here) that displayed this content, and it truly touched our followers:

Don’t be a victim.
Don’t encourage victimhood.
Don’t condone victim thinking.
Parents, don’t raise victims. 

Good stuff. But, I admit, the dad above said it with greater brevity: I didn’t raise victims.

Not only is that effective, strong, accountable parenting, but it’s also good living—for me. I don’t want to play the victim. Do you?

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6 Responses

  1. John;
    I have a family member that has taken a pattern of victim thinking, made it a habit and now has engrained it into the fiber of their Character. My parents have bought in to it hook,line and sinker!
    I have had a conversation about this with this family member and said that to have a relationship with me the victim mentality has to disappear. To claim the victim mentality without being a victim dishonors all real victims!
    Boundaries have help this relationship deteriorate further.

    1. Mary, thanks for sharing this. Yes, you had to draw boundaries. I get that, for sure. 🙁 And this is wisdom: “To claim the victim mentality without being a victim dishonors all real victims!” … thanks much!

  2. I know this article is a bit older, but I just read it and must say, “WOW.” I work in a field involving Behavior Analysis. I have seen how powerful it is to work with individuals otherwise seen as “victims” to show them they are capable and that they can achieve if they work for progress.

    Great article! Thank you!

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