When I do a radio, TV, or podcast interview, I’m often asked this question:
I always answer, “Oh, that’s easy: I can only change me.”
When I say that, I am pretty sure some people listening are disagreeing, thinking, Well, maybe, but as a parent I can change my kids. And isn’t that what managers do at work?
Managers can coach, counsel, and confront till they’re blue in the face, but they can’t change a staff member any more than they can “motivate” that staff member.
Message to Managers: If you still think you can motivate your people, you’re living in the 1970’s.
And for dads and moms, the best parenting is accountable parenting. That means being willing to look into that all-important mirror to ask The Question Behind the Question (QBQ), because QBQs such as, “How can I learn new parenting skills?” and “What can I do to be a more effective parent today?” make all the difference. In the end, strong, effective parents accept what we state on page 4 of Parenting the QBQ Way:
My child is a product of my parenting.
So, I’ll challenge each of us with just one question that strikes at the heart—the essence—of personal accountability and here it is:
Who have I been trying to fix???
Once you’ve answered this question, go to that person today by text, phone, email, or face-to-face, and say, “I’m sorry!” Then …
Let. It. Go.
Next, ask the QBQ, “What can I do to improve me?” Now that is personal accountability!
Come one, who have you been trying to fix? When will you approach this person? What will you say? How will each of you benefit?
We’d love to hear your candid thoughts!