Let’s Not Blame Mom and Dad


1966 Millers with The QBQ! Guy being cool with fingers in ears.

Question: Do you blame Mom and/or Dad for how your life is going today?

We all know about finger-pointing, right? Some days it seems the Blame Game is the only game in town. Everybody is blaming everybody else. 

Even our parents get blamed. Sometimes, Mom and Dad get blamed for everything!

“If only my dad would … ” and “If only my mom had … .”

Poor Mom and Dad, and that darn family of origin. 😉

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Blame Game: 25 Reasons We Do It

blame, blame game, accountability, ownership

Who ‘ya gonna call? Blame Busters!

We’ve been working to bust blame at QBQ, Inc. for a long time. Given the human propensity to point fingers and our mission of Making personal accountability a core value for people and organizations, I’m certain we’ll never run out of clients. 

‘Ya think? 😆

Of course, this whole blame-busting thing begins with me. If you’re a reader of the QBQ! book, then you understand.

Three key points:

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Lifting People Higher With QBQ!

accountability, addiction, walsh

Joe Walsh, longtime rocker and member of the Eagles, nails addiction in his “One Day At A Time” lyrics. (Video here)

An addict himself, he figured it out.

Early in his song, he sings, “Well, I finally got around to admit I might have a problem—but I thought it was just too big of a mountain to climb.”

Good so far, gotta admit a problem exists, but not fully there yet. A bit later, Joe croons, “Well, I finally got around to admit that I was the problem; when I used to put the blame on everybody’s shoulders but mine.”

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Outstanding Organizations NEVER Stop Improving

vortex, california fires, paradise, outstanding

Do the best organizations strive to get better? They sure do as they work toward achieving that highest level of exceptionalism. What we simply call … outstanding. 

These Organizations Do Exist

After getting off the phone with the CEO of Vortex Optics, I knew Kristin and I had just talked to a leader who knows what he’s doing. A family-held organization with 300 staff, CEO Joe Hamilton works alongside his siblings in a business their dad founded. We were impressed with the way he thinks and thankful for his belief in QBQ! To be honest, I was not aware of the stellar reputation of this organization until the next day.

I casually mentioned to my son-in-law, Justin, who fought in Iraq and loves all things outdoors, Vortex is a client. My gut told me their products would interest him. I was right …

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Discipline of Self: The Secret To Delaying Gratification

Join our Facebook QBQ! Group today!

Sign up for our “Personal Accountability & the QBQ!” virtual workshop here!

discipline, personal growth, self improvement

As we write in the QBQ! book, there are three very human traps to avoid: Victim Thinking, Blame, and Procrastination.

All three harm our ability to succeed and are the antithesis of Personal Accountability. Let’s explore that last one.

Procrastination Is <Usually> Bad

In QBQ! we describe Procrastination as the “Friend of Failure.” If I want to fail, all I have to do is spend my time delaying action to a future time to render no value to those around me!

Generally, Procrastination is a dangerous, unproductive state of being.

Unless …

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How QBQ, Inc. Can Be Of Service To You!

What We Do At QBQ, Inc.

We help your organization be outstanding by making Personal Accountability a core value. Here’s how:

  • Training designed for in-house implementation and facilitation. Learn More.
  • Dynamic speakers, interactive workshops for any size group. Learn More. 
  • Customizable virtual training options. Learn More.
  • Lots and lots of books.

“QBQ!” Defined

The Question Behind the Question — QBQ! — is a tool enabling people to practice Personal Accountability. The QBQ! provides the “How to” of Personal Accountability. People at every organizational level have found QBQ! life-changing! QBQ! is the result of many years of research by author, John G. Miller, in the organizational development field. Learn More.

Do We Need QBQ!?

Ever heard questions like these?

  • “Why do we have to go through all this change?”
  • “When is someone going to train me?”
  • “Why can’t we find good people?”
  • “When will that department do its job right?”
  • “Who dropped the ball?”
  • “Why don’t they communicate better?”
  • “Who’s going to solve the problem?”

If so, the message of “Personal Accountability and the QBQ!” is right for your organization.

The Value of QBQ!

When people practice QBQ! the all-too-human traps of complaining, victim-thinking, procrastination, excuse-making, and blame are eliminated. When this shift happens, productivity, teamwork, morale, creativity, safety, communication, engagement, and problem-solving are enhanced. People who use QBQ! also adapt to change faster, which is critical for competing in today’s global economy.

John G. Miller and Kristin Lindeen

John is the founder of QBQ, Inc., and author of these books. For John’s background and history, read here. To learn about Kristin, click here.

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Don’t ask, “Why do we have to go through all this change?”

Join our QBQ! Facebook Discussion Group!

When in college and working at Wells Fargo, the oldest of seven Miller kids, Kristin, called me at lunchtime. My “How’s your day going?” question instigated this exchange:

Kristin: “What a drag, Dad, I’m dealing with change!”

Me: “Honey, we’re all dealing with change. It’s everywhere.”

Kristin: “No, Dad, a guy came in with $300 in change today and I got stuck rolling it. I am literally dealing with change!”

Me: “Oops. My bad.” ?

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Accountable People NEVER Stop Growing Up

Yep, that’s 23-year-old me. Chuckle all you want — I’m not offended. ?

Viewing this photo, I know something you don’t:

As a man, husband, and future father, I had a ton of maturing to do.

Quick Story

Over coffee, I asked a longtime friend, Rich, how his two sons were doing. His response surprised me.

“Well, one grew up. The other one didn’t.”

I asked, “Wait a second, Rich, aren’t they both in their thirties now?”

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Customer Service: Outstanding People Care

outstanding, customer service

Reasonable people know mistakes happen. How do I know this to be true? Examples like the one below. This is a story of a vendor solving a problem that the vendor itself created — and yet the customer is still “wowed.” It’s not rocket science — people just want to work with people who … care.

Nancy’s Story

John, when we place an order with a supplier using their automated purchasing system, the pricing is quoted by them and approved by us seamlessly. A couple of days later, we receive emails from the vendor informing us the product has been shipped and providing an ETA. It’s all very slick.

Recently, several days after I placed three orders, the usual emails had not been received. Upon checking, I discovered no materials were en route.

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Making Ownership Happen!

Please join our QBQ! Facebook Discussion Group here!

ownership, accountability, managing people, management skills

This image still makes me laugh. A patron had spilled two ounces of coffee on the floor … and the staff had put up a warning sign! What’s your first thought? Mine was, How ’bout just wiping it up? Isn’t that what you’d do at home?

Truth be told, the barista team behind the counter was busy exchanging views on their past and present romantic relationships.

Yep, they could be overheard.

Not spoken, but clearly voiced through lack of action, were three statements that can destroy any organization:

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