Kimberly, a Community Relations Administrator for Delta Dental of New Jersey, Inc., wrote up this summary of the QBQ! book. It’s so excellent, I thought I’d share it all with you. I love the title she gave it. Enjoy!
I Can Only Change Me
In John G. Miller’s book QBQ The Question Behind the Question he speaks about what to really ask yourself to eliminate blame, complaining, and procrastination. He discusses how people tend to blame others for personal and professional troubles. Miller believes in personal accountability – taking responsibility for one’s actions, problems, and feelings instead of blaming others.
Miller believes in changing the questions we ask ourselves from negative (Why do we have to go through all this change? Or, Who dropped the ball?) to more solution-based “I” questions (What can I do to contribute? Or, How can I help solve the problem?)
One of the chapters in QBQ! is called “I Can Only Change Me” and in this chapter Miller reminds us that when dealing with any circumstance the only person that can change is – one’s self.
Perhaps you’re a supervisor who’s dealing with a difficult employee. You do your best to change the employee’s attitude and nothing is working. The attitude you should be changing is your own. A supervisor’s role is to coach and counsel – not to change another person. Change is something that occurs internally – a result of decisions made by the individual. The same applies for the reverse – an employee who works for a difficult supervisor. The employee cannot change the supervisor – the only aspect the employee can change is him or herself and how he or she deals with the difficult supervisor.
Each of us may be aware that the only person each of us can change is our self; however, there’s a big difference between understanding this concept and actually living it.Continue Reading