Do You Want To Be Right — or Successful?

Have you stubbed your toe on a chair and in pain yelled, “Who put that stupid chair there?!”

If so, your reaction was due to an innate, intense need to not be responsible. This is typical of the human race: we readily look outside of ourselves for anything or anyone to blame.

It’s a lousy way to live life and makes success in any endeavor elusive.

Why We Blame

We blame because “pain avoidance” is Job One for the human race. We shun mental, physical, and emotional pain. In the feelings realm, negative emotions like shame, embarrassment, frustration, fear, and anger cause us to lash out, point fingers, and deflect responsibility.

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The QBQ! Essence: Serving People

A meaningful moment for us is when a reader of QBQ! The Question Behind the Question applies our message of Personal Accountability in ways we’d not dreamed of when we first penned and published the book—and shares it with us.

This powerful and touching story (and application of our material) comes from a friend and colleague, Renee.

When I emailed her to ask how she was, with grace and humility she responded with this note. I always knew she’s special, but this story confirms it. Enjoy!

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Accountable People Dig Deep — Have You?

WARNING: Content ahead that makes us think. That’s good, since Ben Franklin said, “If it hurts, it instructs.”

That Important Day

It was 1991 when I told Terry, a marital counselor, about my Upstate New York “home of origin” and family system dysfunction. In that first session, after sharing great detail, I confidently (and foolishly) concluded, “But Karen and I left all that behind when we moved to Minnesota in 1980.”

The truth of Terry’s response still stings:

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Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper—It’s All QBQ! Service

Readers of the QBQ! book have sent us many great customer service stories. They do this when they experience a moment that brings them right back to the book’s content, specifically Chapter One titled, “A Picture of Personal Accountability.” This is where Jacob, my server at the Rockbottom Restaurant, sent his manager to grab me a Diet Coke from a nearby grocery store. I was more than delighted!

Oh, you don’t know that story? Well, pick up a QBQ! book today! 😎

Meanwhile, here is the most recent story to come to us. Enjoy!

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Accountability: How Team Toshiba Lives QBQ!

Toshiba Corporation of Mitchell, South Dakota—home of the famous Corn Palace—is a QBQ! organization.

Since 2013, they’ve been inculcating the QBQ! message of Personal Accountability into their culture. They’ve facilitated our training system in-house, had both Kristin and me come speak, studied the books—and truly taken the message to heart.

Vice President of Manufacturing Engineering, Jeff Clark, who has spearheaded the QBQ! training, sent this email:

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When Serving Customers, Who’s It All About?

service, customer service, accountability, outstanding

Our favorite KFC drive-thru failed to give us 3 of 4 large coleslaw sides we’d ordered. Foolishly, my wife and I didn’t check the bag handed to us till we arrived at our daughter’s home 10 miles away for a large Miller family gathering.

When we discovered this, everyone was disappointed. I mean, who doesn’t love KFC coleslaw? The Millers sure do.

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10 Tips For Better Living

victim thinking, victim, entitlement, qbq

“When you find a ‘perfect world,’ send me the address.”

~Police Commissioner, Frank Reagan, of “Blue Bloods” on CBS (actor Tom Sellick)

Wha … ??? No perfect world?! That’s a shocker!  😂

Well, then, I better start practicing these life-changing ideas right now …

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Never Forget: Learning Equals Change

enneagram, myers briggs, mbti, qbqThere’s a movement toward greater self-awareness by understanding one’s personality. In general, this is healthy and good — but is it making a difference?

My wife, Karen, and I have been reading The Road Back to You to learn about the Enneagram, a personality-type system that can lead to self-discovery and greater understanding. Doing so has generated a lot of conversation. From these chats, I have a thought to share that I’ll set up with a key passage from the QBQ! book.

Excerpted from Ch. 37 titled, “We Buy Too Many Books”

We attend too many seminars. We take too many classes. We buy too many books. We listen to too many podcasts. We engage in too much training.

Yes, it’s all a waste! A waste, that is, if we’re unclear on what learning really is. Learning is not attending, listening, or reading. Nor is it merely gaining knowledge. Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. In other words, it’s about changing.

Never forget: Learning equals change. If we haven’t changed we haven’t learned.

Now that thought …

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INTEGRITY Begins With … ???

On my daily walk, I paused to admire the “grass” in the photo. With another Colorado summer approaching, I know our lawn will crisp up like Sunday morning breakfast bacon.

What works for a Denver backyard, though, doesn’t work for people. Being perceived as fake is not admired much.

We’ve all heard “say what you mean and mean what you say.” Good advice. Years ago, I was struggling to ask a client a question when she wisely advised, “Just say it the way you’re thinking it, John.” Excellent counsel.

Being authentic isn’t easy. We don’t want to dump our problems, troubles, and innermost thoughts on others, right? Yet we do want to be genuine, relatable, and real.

It’s a conundrum.

Recently, we took a survey using this question: “What is the #1 characteristic of leadership?”—and INTEGRITY became a theme. In QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, we define INTEGRITY this way:

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