Personal Accountability: My 5 Anti-Victim Thinking Commitments

“Victim thinking” happens, and it looks a lot like this:

• I’m a victim because my friends don’t understand me.
• I’m a victim because my spouse doesn’t help out around the house.
• I’m a victim because raising great kids is really hard work.
• I’m a victim because I didn’t get a raise, promotion, or enough training.
• I’m a victim because the referee made a bad call.
• I’m a victim because someone said something that I decided is offensive.
• I’m a victim because others make more money than I do.
• I’m a victim because my teacher gave me a bad grade.

And this—victim thinking taken one step further:

Accountability: Be Good Enough To Beat The Ref

The photo above is of the actual shirt I wore when officiating high school wrestling matches in the Southern Tier of New York State from 1978-1980. As a Cornell student, it was a fun and meaningful way to make money. Recently discovering it, I am reminded daily of what my dad taught me—and many others—about personal accountability. An idea so powerful it became a chapter in QBQ! The Question Behind the Question.

With NFL playoff football ahead, this message couldn’t be more timely. So, share on!

“Beat the Ref” (Ch. 16 of QBQ!)

Parenting: Loving The Job Is The Best Approach

Skimming the internet, I stopped on a parenting article which began with a fairly common statement: “Parenting is one of the toughest jobs around.” 

Karen and I understand that many will defend this thought—vigorously.

But what causes moms and dads to say it? Parenting is a job we chose. It’s a job we asked for. It’s the job we sought. For many, it’s the job they love, knowing it’s THE greatest opportunity to leave a legacy.

Yet, so often parents seem to need to yell, “PARENTING IS HARD WORK!!!” But …

Accountability Avoidance and the 3 Words That Solve No Problems

Meet “Wizard the Lizard,” an Australian Red Ackie Monitor. Having him as part of my reptile collection has reminded me why it is so easy for humans to avoid PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY.

Wizard is my first Ackie. After he arrived from a Las Vegas reptile store, I learned online that good Ackie care involves keeping their environment moist and hot. When kept dry and cool, there is a permanent consequence:

Their toes fall off—forever. 🙁

So, a little worried I’d get busy and distracted and do it wrong, I worked hard keeping Wizard warm and wet.

I never did count his toes when I got him, though.

Two weeks into owning him, as he relaxed on his fav log, I noticed something …

Goal-Setting: Most Advice Is Wrong

A mentor of mine—W.Steven Brown—taught me a goal-setting concept that would challenge the modern-day over-achiever. 

A true goal is not the mountain I hope to climb, an image of a new Mercedes on my fridge, or the weight I claim I’ll lose. We say those are goals, but they’re not.

A real goal is this:

21 Ingredients for Holiday Stress

The holidays are a special time … until they’re not. They can be quickly ruined when we choose to engage in stress-inducing behaviors. So, this year, let’s each commit to not serving up this joy-killing dish!

Recipe for Holiday Stress: 21 Ingredients to Avoid!