- I’m a victim because my friends don’t understand me.
- I’m a victim because my spouse doesn’t help out around the house.
- I’m a victim because raising great kids is really hard work.
- I’m a victim because I didn’t get a raise, promotion, or enough training.
- I’m a victim because the referee made a bad call.
- I’m a victim because someone said something that I decided is offensive.
- I’m a victim because others make more money than I do.
- I’m a victim because my teacher gave me a bad grade.
And this—victim thinking taken one step further:
I’m a victim because someone I care about is a victim!
QBQ! The Question Behind the Question recently received a 1 star Amazon review. With 600+ reviews, QBQ! is rated 4.5 stars out of 5, but one reader had an ax to grind—for someone else.
“My husband was ‘assigned’ this book to read by his company. It was handed out as an excuse for the company’s higher-ups to abdicate all leadership!”
Allow me to translate:
My husband’s employer doesn’t treat him fairly. How dare they make him read a book on accountability! Management should read this book because they don’t take accountability for anything! My husband works so hard—he deserves better!
Yes, I am reaching into her mind, unfairly some might think. But I think my educated guess on what she’s thinking is pretty educated after many years of studying organizational cultures, executives, managers, staff—and me.
Yes, I play victim, too.
A complaint here and a whine there, mixed with some “Pity Party” thinking, and suddenly this author/speaker/salesperson/husband/father/granddad/friend/neighbor/sibling/son is suffering from … victim-itis!
However, the cold hard brutal truth is this:
I am almost never a victim.
You see, if I am mugged in a dark alley—at that moment—I’m a victim. But I haven’t been mugged lately—or ever. Have you???
Some might believe they’ve been mugged by life, but I’d rather not buy the lie that I’m a “victim of circumstance”—a common lament by many. Isn’t it better to strive each day to practice personal accountability and resist viewing myself as a victim?
Critical question …
When I play the victim by whining and bemoaning my situation and what people have done to me or not done for me, who am I serving?
Nobody. Not even myself.
Here are my 5 anti-victim thinking commitments:
- I am not a victim. Period.
- I will work daily to displace victim thinking with accountable thinking.
- I will not engage in victim behaviors (whining, griping, complaining).
- I will teach my children and grandchildren that they are not victims.
- I will not vote for politicians who encourage victim thinking.
Again, those are mine. What are yours? Feel free to share below!
If you’re not getting our FREE QBQ! blogs by email, click here.