Marriage: Learning, Growth, and Change

kayak, shared interests, helps marriage

 Got marriage?

Karen and I do—almost 43 years. And this marriage is in its best shape ever. 

Is your marriage healthy? We weren’t for a long time. Some thought we wouldn’t make it.

Karen and I were never in an almost-divorced state, but the road was rocky. Marrying at 19 and 22, we brought baggage to the marriage: Karen enough for a weekend excursion, John for a trip around the world. Not unusual for one whose “family of origin” doubled as an alcoholic system.

In our 60s now, some might say there’s less tension and strife and more harmony because we’re “empty nesters.” Seven offspring raised and departed, all employed, six married, and one engaged. 14 grandchildren, too—for now. 😊


So, yeah, the child-rearing mission completed sure helps. But, there’s another big change that matters …

I’ve grown.

Not arrived—but getting better.

What’s changed in this husband? Well, I ……..

— Discarded the need to be right

— Choose my “battles” wisely

— Let go of what I can’t change

— Honor Karen’s plentiful strengths

— Provide input only when asked

— Give Karen space to feel

I even kayaked with her … once. 💪🏻

How have you grown in your relationship/marriage? Share! 

Want to improve your relationships? Grab a copy of QBQ! here! 



2 Responses

  1. John, your insights and reflections on marriage, children, religion, family are spot on. When I get your emails it makes me reflect on my life and marriage and how I can be a better husband, father and person. Thanks!

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