Do you know someone who stands out on their “likability” alone? If so, have you studied them?
Let’s do that here by exploring 5 traits likable people possess. Yes, there are more than five, but in this space I’ll share four and then you can come up with #5!
Here we go …
1) Likable = Doing the Listening Loop
While in a conversation that is interrupted by a child, doorbell, restaurant server, phone call, or colleague’s urgent question, a likable person loops back to the one who’d been talking, saying, “You were sharing about _________________ … please go on.”
Hardly anything makes a person feel more special than to truly be listened to, eh? And the good news is the skill of “looping” is one that can be learned. Try it today!
2) Likable = Being Reasonable
The Millers decided to rent a “villa” for Spring break. The property management firm required a check to hold the reservation, so I mailed it to their PO box.
A week later, Louis, the agent, emailed saying it hadn’t arrived. So I spent $35 to stop payment on it, and mailed a second check.
It didn’t arrive either.
So I stopped payment on the second check. What a waste of money! I thought. I was frustrated! Louis was, too. But nobody was “at fault.” We were both simply baffled.
But, a day later, both checks arrived!
Then, without even being asked, Louis emailed to say he was mailing us a check to cover one of the $35 bank charges.
He didn’t have to, but he did. It wasn’t just nice of him, either—it was REASONABLE.
I love reasonable people, don’t you?
3) Likable = Humble, Not Haughty
There has been debate over Richard Sherman’s (Seattle Seahawk NFL player) post game TV interview (rant?) on January 19th. If you missed it:
Most discussion has centered on this question: Was his behavior arrogant or interesting? Personally, I don’t care what fans and the media think. Here’s what I wonder …
Deep down inside, were his mom and dad proud of their son’s on-camera performance?
Maybe. I don’t know. I can only speak for me, and this father of seven would not have been, not in the least. I want my kids to demonstrate humility in all they do.
And, since it begins with me, I must always keep this truth in mind:
Arrogance repels, but HUMILITY is the magnet that draws people to me.
4) Likable = Accepts Others Just As They Are
When my speaking colleague, Kristin, who will turn 31 on Jan 26th, was 15, she said something profound. Over Sunday lunch I was whining because I’d learned that someone had asserted that I “wasn’t friendly” and should be “nicer” to people. I was indignant because I believe I am very “friendly and nice” to those I meet.
Then Kristin straightened it all out with this insight:
“Dad, you’re friendly. You’re just not social.”
Out of the mouths of teens.
Years later, I am blessed to have people in my life that accept me as me. These folks, I’m sure, think thoughts of kindness and grace such as, That John Miller is a really nice guy—just don’t invite him to a party!
In the QBQ! book, we write what my client/friend, Bob Elgin, once shared:
“A true teammate is someone who can look right through you and still enjoy the view.”
Who can’t use more teammates and friends like that? Of course, I need to do that for others, as well.
5) Likable = __________?___________
Can you provide #5 in the Comments section below? The answer we deem best wins a signed copy of Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional!
Lastly, one introspective question related to traits 1-4:
Which of these do I need to work on?