When we posted the content below on our QBQ! Facebook page, it generated a huge response, not to mention an intense reaction. So, I decided to send it to you (and post it on QBQ.com) so that you can comment.
Based on the reality that we are what we think about most often—and how we think drives everything we do and become—we created this list of two types of thoughts.
Here we go …
Immature or Child-like Thinking
I deserve!
I’m entitled!
Pay my bills!
Take care of me!
Do not offend me!
Everything is about me!
Mature or Adult-like Thinking
I must earn.
It’s about others.
Challenge my views.
I will buy my own stuff.
Nobody owes me anything.
I’m accountable for my success.
3 Common Reactions
When people read the material above, they quickly go to one of three places:
- Others: They picture people they know who really need this content, so they don’t ever apply the ideas in their own life.
- Politics: They view this message as a political statement, which makes them angry and prevents them from using this material.
- Accountability: They thoughtfully consider how this content applies to them and, looking into the mirror, strive to change themselves.
Hmm … I wonder which of these three responses would be the healthiest? Hmm … still pondering … 🙂
Curious, where did your mind go and how will you use this material? Comment away!
20 Responses
I’m almost grown up as well!
Hi, John! For the most part, I agree w/the lists but I have to say the first item under Mature Thinking gave me pause – “I must earn”. I think it bothered me because I automatically perceived the rest of that sentence to be “a living”, I hear earn and I think money. However, I like it when I think “I must earn things for myself”. I also misread it at first and thought it said “learn” – which would be another good addition! Thank you so much for all you do to help us keep ourselves on the straight and narrow 🙂
I welcomed the information 2 areas that I can work on are Its about others and challenge my views. I try to put others first but still need work, and sometimes I like to be challenged sometimes I don’t but I am learning that challenging my views often open’s up my views to other ways of thinking. I have to admit the immature list did make me think I don’t like to be offended but its a part of life so I am learning to deal with this aspect of my life everyone will not be pleased with me and some have no concerns voicing their opinions overall good information. I have matured in many ways but believe that a person should never stop growing thanks
I think that after people have kids, that while immature thinking doesn’t disappear, people tend to think more about the family and less about self. At least that’s how it was with me. Which direction Is best for us to go, decisions to make, etc. You have more at stake than when you were single or first married. Little lives are dependent on you and it makes you grow up and be more mature.
Posts like this remind me that I am not yet grown up. My urge is to apply it to others knowing deep inside that I need to change.
I’m accountable for my failures and mistakes.
I choose to take Personal Accountability/ownership for myself and my choices and try not to go down the victim path very often. Since the brain doesn’t know how to take a joke, it believes what we tell it; therefore, it’s important to use a lot of positive self-talk like, “What can I do to make a positive impact?” Hmmm, sounds like a QBQ! Thanks, John!
So thankful for adult-like thinking in my family. Sharing with our millenial children – because they “get it”. Understanding the QBQ Principles, helps us better understand ourselves, and our reaction to others; *pause* and helps us better understand others!
Personal accountability has been a thing for our family from pre-2-year-old. (Can it be overdone? Awww, just let kids be kids. : ) )
I’m a Business Owner and Leader in many areas in my field and at 55 still think,
I hope to never grow up!
Matt E.
Great post. I was drawn to the second list looking both at those who live those statements and those who I know that should.
It is a great reminder for me especially when I start to feel entitled and selfish
I find myself teetering on the age of immaturity often. Thanks for the great reminder that the mirror is more than a tool for dressing and grooming. I’m 58 and almost grown up.
It’s the part about our way of thinking and how it makes us who we really are and where our priorities are that stands out most for me. I REALLY have to control my thoughts or I will become who I don’t want be. That is reality, whether we believe / like it or not.
The good news is we have the ability to control what and how we think, if we will.
In most cases, we have put ourselves where we are in life, by who we’ve created.
I thought about some, ok maybe someones, who need this. Then I reread it with me in mind, then I reread it and thought I can I share this and use it as an accountability tool.
I am 58 and almost grown up!
In response to your 3 reactions tidbit, I’m not sure it’s physically possible to make a statement that someone will not find political or take offense to, particularly one that’s trying to teach someone something. Suppose you say “1+1=2”. Maybe you’re making a statement about how good or bad our school system is, and of course you’d be implying why it’s good or bad and who’s at fault or who deserves credit for why it’s good or bad. Isn’t it obvious?! 🙂 I did not see the Facebook post or subsequent comments, but it sounds like political was the way most people took things. What a sad way to live!
I’m 62 and work in a Customer Support Center. Since following your emails I have been enlighten to the fact that the majority of the department falls under the immature section including my boss. This is very frustrating since I have held the mature attitude for most of my life, and each day get ridiculed for. This list helps me to understand my co-workers and confirms that I’m on the right course. Thank you.
I’m still growing up, because life is a progression of learning steps, those learning steps bring experience, experience brings wisdom. Hopefully I’ve learned a few things along the way that has helped me grow and be better. Where my thoughts took me as I read this, well to be honest as I read it I did think of others that I’m associated with who have the entitled view and thought their take away would be to get angry – which is the politic view. As I continued to read I reflected on myself, who I am, what my values are and what I stand for. I am grateful for how I was raised even though our family had money and I knew it, I wasn’t raised to be entitled, I was raised to be accountable for my actions and to think make things happen if I wanted them to happen. I remember a great lesson my dad taught me when growing up, if there was something we kids wanted, his standard answer was, “think about it for 2 weeks, if you still want it or want to do it, I’ll help you find a way”. It was never I’ll get it or do it for you which he easily could have done, it was help he offered which came in the way of some way to earn what we needed for what we wanted. Because of that even as a child I had a more grown up approach to life which has carried me through life and some tough times. How will I use this information – to continue to grow and get better. “To Be the Best Me I can Be”!!!
Like you, I am 74 years old and still working to get my mind to the notion of personal accountability. I still drop the ball on occasion. Still I am convinced that my success is totally up to me and not to someone else, or some other organization of mankind, like government. This is still true as I move into the second year of retirement.
I want to thank you for the emails and the books that continue to point to personal responsibility and accountability in all of life. The reminders that you broadcast are good for correcting my personal course through life. Keep up the good work.
John even at our age I still strive to get better at being accountable and try to listen and learn and bring added value to organizations vs what does the organization and my fellow associates owe me !
I agree as well. My nearly 60 yrs. now has taught me that “attitude” seems to be the most important thing. How you enter a challenge or end a challenge, your attitude seems to determine the stuff that happens in the middle of the challenge or the next thing that comes your way. Keep the attitude in check and all seems to work out.