Playing the Victim: Why Go There?

In our blog, The Solution Is Right In Front of Me, I stated, “My life can and will be better when I choose to make it better. Anything else is blame, whining, procrastination, and victim thinking.”

Many Amen!-type comments arrived, but Alicia objected by email:

“John, self-effort will get a person off the couch and can improve a life (compared to being a slug), but self-effort alone is not the determining factor in achieving success. There are many other factors. To believe that is not ‘victim thinking.’”

That’s okay. Nice people can disagree nicely.

But then Lori sent a comment. Well, more of a story that we’ll share now.

The Lori Story

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The Solution Is Right In Front of Me!

Leave a comment on this blog and your name will be entered into our drawing for a signed Raising Accountable Kids book. So, jump right in!

On our QBQ! Facebook page, I posted, “My success begins and ends with my choices.” Many folks said, “Amen!”

Except for one guy. He wrote …

“How luck and random events play into the affairs of humankind must be considered. It’s surely fortunate to be born in the U.S., have the name of Trump, be healthy, and so on—but making good choices isn’t easy when the options are opaque, incomprehensible, or too numerous to master.”

Huh?

To be honest, this type of “rationale” exhausts me. Call me simple-minded, but I believe this:

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3 Ways To Grate On Others: COMPLAIN! COMPLAIN! COMPLAIN!

Comment on this post and be entered into our drawing* to win an autographed set of QBQ! and Flipping the Switch books!

qbq, personal accountability, no complaining

As Karen and I dined at a Denver-based restaurant chain, the manager, Nate, stopped by our table to see how we were doing. One thing led to another, and—as is my wont—I mentioned the QBQ! book to him and gave my usual 15-second book summary. It goes like this:

59 CommentsManagement, Personal Accountability

Personal Finance: “Help! I’m trapped and I can’t get out!”

personal finance, budgeting, pay off debt, career, financial freedomWe don’t write often on the topic of money. We leave that to the expert in personal finance, Dave Ramsey (who just happens to require all staff to read the QBQ! book). But, money touches every area of our lives, so sometimes, writing about money just can’t be helped. 

Recently, I held a phone call with Jerry, a 51-year-old seasoned sales executive who is extremely frustrated and unhappy at work. Though our call wasn’t supposed to be about personal finance and money—it was.

13 CommentsLifestyle, Personal Accountability

“Personal Accountability & the QBQ!” History {Giveaway!}

qbq, personal accountability, accountability“It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.”

Eddie Cantor (1892-1964) comedian, dancer, singer, actor

It’s true, we usually don’t know how the now-famous actor waited tables for years or the big name music group spent a decade singing in hotel lounges before hitting the big time.

Or how a non-famous QBQ! author and speaker started—unless he comes to you from his Colorado barn on video!

Enjoy a quick 3-minute video of The QBQ! Guy sharing a bit of QBQ! history and …

Watch The Video Below To Earn The Chance To Win!

Challenge: In the video, how many languages do I say the QBQ! book has been published in? (I only say it once!)

Action: Email that number to [email protected] and get your name entered into our drawing for …

Prize: These five autographed titles: QBQ!, The QBQ! Workbook, Flipping the Switch, Outstanding!, and Raising Accountable Kids! (A $90 package!)

Here is the video link:

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Busting the Blame: It’s Not Complicated

blame, costs of blame, team, team building, accountability training

The Conversation

Prospect: “John, we have a problem.”

Me: “Uh oh. What happened?”

Prospect: “You know I believe QBQ! training is needed at Lockheed Martin, but after our SVP read the QBQ! book, she decided it’s ‘too simple.’”

Me: ”Well, yeah, it’s not rocket science!”

Pause …

Me: ”Um, what’s her background?”

Prospect: ”She’s a rocket scientist.”

I’ll never forget that conversation. Yes, I missed that sale but the SVP was right: The QBQ! message of PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY is simple.

But not too simple. Eradicating the cancer of blame from our world, not to mention our organizations, politics, and families, is exactly what’s needed—and not complicated.

Blame Is Spelled “b-lame”

Have you witnessed blame? If so, you’ve not only seen blame, you’ve seen lame. I mean, what could be more lame than when …

9 CommentsLeadership, Personal Accountability

Be Bold By Practicing Personal Accountability! (with audio)

ownership, accountability, bold, be boldThat’s me swallowing a live goldfish at Ithaca High School before my 1976 senior class.

That’s also me serving as the commencement speaker before Natasha’s 2017 senior class. “Tash” is the youngest of 7 Miller offspring.

In 1976, I’d heard that “fortune favors the bold”—so down went that fish!

41 years later, I didn’t swallow a fish, but I did tell the 103 graduating high school seniors to be bold. I never used the word “bold,” but did teach the QBQ! book’s message of PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. If a young person chooses to practice that powerful principle, it would make him or her pretty bold in a society that does not support accountability, responsibility, and taking ownership for one’s life.

Do you agree that a person who practices accountability, responsibility, and ownership in today’s world is bold?

My brief QBQ! commencement talk recording is at the end of this blog. Before you dive into the short audio, though, allow me to share my “speaker prep” with you. When brainstorming ideas to share with these fine young Coloradans, I came up with a list. What do you think of it? …

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Immature vs. Mature Thinking: 3 Common Reactions To This List

accountable thinking, thinking, mature, qbq

When we posted the content below on our QBQ! Facebook page, it generated a huge response, not to mention an intense reaction. So, I decided to send it to you (and post it on QBQ.com) so that you can comment.

Based on the reality that we are what we think about most often—and how we think drives everything we do and become—we created this list of two types of thoughts.

Here we go …

Immature or Child-like Thinking

I deserve!

I’m entitled!

Pay my bills!

Take care of me!

Do not offend me!

Everything is about me!

Mature or Adult-like Thinking

I must earn.

It’s about others.

Challenge my views.

I will buy my own stuff.

Nobody owes me anything.

I’m accountable for my success.

3 Common Reactions

When people read the material above, they quickly go to one of three places:

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Personal Accountability: Needed Then—and Now

Trust me on this: The old stuff is the good stuff.

QBQ! History

It was 1995 when the cover of this VHS tape was produced. My first “speaker demo video” ever. No laughing, please! Mustaches were in.

That year, I decided to go out QBQ, personal accountability, accountability, trainingand speak on personal accountability. I’d been selling and implementing leadership and sales training for a decade and had conducted more than ten thousand hours of training with clients. This is where I began to notice that people—including me—tend to ask lousy questions beginning with “Why” “When” and “Who” that not only solve no problems but lead us into victim thinking, procrastination, and blame. Bad stuff.

The Original QBQ! Story

Then one Monday morning Jim, a client, phoned and asked to meet. He’d lost his job as vice president of human resources for a telecommunications firm. Over lunch, he shared that while he was on vacation, three of his five-person staff held a meeting with the CEO to complain about how Jim was running the department. When he returned to work that day, the CEO called him in and, with little to no discussion, fired him.

Feeling protective of a guy I liked, I said, “But, Jim, the question is, why didn’t he give you a chance to explain—you know, to defend yourself?” Nodding in solemn and total agreement, he said, “Yes, John, that’s the question.” An hour later …

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