17 “If Onlys” and How To Chase Them Away

If onlyIf only I was taller I could reach that cupboard above the fridge!

At 5 1/2 feet, “If only I was taller!” could be a frequent lament for me. But since it’s something I can’t change, I can get around this limitation by grabbing a nearby stool or chair.

Bemoaning, griping, and complaining won’t add a single inch to my stature.

Not to mention any joy to my life.

I also used to whine, “If only I was thinner!” Of course, this was something I could change so … I lost weight.

And this:

“If only my mom hadn’t died when I was a teen.”

No fixing that one.

There are three ways to handle an If Only:

1. Find a workaround (the handy stool)

2. Solve it (walk more, eat less)

3. Let. It. Go. (grieve and move on)

Left unattended, any and all If Onlys waste time, talent, and energy.

Agreed?

Yet, they’re so common. Here are 17 If Onlys:

Humble vs. Haughty—The 5 Truths of Humility

IMG_8188A very fine line exists between humility and haughtiness.

I recently posted this picture of Central Park on our QBQ! Facebook page and wrote this:

Not a bad way to spend a morning, walking Central Park. In Manhattan to teach QBQ! at NBC at “30 Rock” Mon morn.

I knew from experience that posting where I was and why I was there was risky. In 1996, as a young speaker, I was hired to present on the same platform as Lou Holtz, the renowned Notre Dame football coach. Totally excited and enthused, I faxed—yes, faxed—an announcement to my clients.

The next day, a training manager told me that her VP of Sales boss had privately remarked, “There goes Miller grandstanding.”

Ouch.

I suppose I should’ve known better since I’d been taught better …

Accountability: 13 New Year’s Questions For Personal Growth

Answers in questions - Playfair fontHere are 13 questions that challenge me to think hard, which can lead to learning, growth, and change. Each laced with an underlying QBQ! book message of PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY, these questions can help to make 2016 outstanding!

1. In 2015, what did I learn about myself that helped me mature?

2. What relationship did I make better and what relationship must I strive to improve?

3. How good am I at helping others feel special and who needs more of this from me?

4. When do I let victim thinking into my life and what are the consequences?

5 Management Mindsets That Kill Training

Learning 2

Allow me to give a “shout out” to some QBQ! training clients. Please bear with me, there’s an important message coming.

Dave Field of Interprint, Inc. in Massachusetts—2005

Debbie Slocum of Husqvarna Construction Products in Missouri—2006

Jeff Clark of Toshiba America Business Solutions in South Dakota—2012

Don Burstow of Burstows Funeral Care in Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia—2015

The dates shown denote when each client began using “Personal Accountability and the QBQ!” training.

I mention these executives because they do what most management folks don’t:

“My boss isn’t perfect! What should I do?”

businessman screaming with flames coming out of his mouth

Last month we published this piece: It’s a NO EXCUSES Moment For Management

Some of you asked, “How should Mandy have handled it?”

Well, here’s what you do when you don’t have the perfect boss.

Our story is about a subordinate/boss or, if you prefer, associate/team leader relationship. If you’re in one of those roles, or ever plan to be, read on …

From Rob, a reader of the QBQ! book:

Time Management: 6 Reasons To Have Deadlines

Retro Parking meter isolated on white with clipping path

When I was 15, my sister, Lucy, older and wiser by seven years, said something that didn’t make sense to my teen brain:

“If you want something done, give it to a busy person.”

More than forty years later, I recall how that statement confused me—but I get it now.

People with a lot to do already have momentum, vigor, and the systems and tools in place for efficient living. They’re the best candidates for handling a task, solving a problem, or assisting a person, team, or organization in achieving a new goal. 

And, busy people also have …

Got Anger? How Anger Prevents Accountability

Closeup portrait Angry young Boy, Blowing Steam coming out of ears, about have Nervous atomic breakdown, isolated grey background. Negative human emotions, Facial Expression, feeling attitude reaction

Note! See John share “Got Anger?” on Periscope/Youtube here!

I’ve noticed something about people who day in and day out practice PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY:

They’re in control.

They don’t fly off the handle or overreact. They don’t allow anger to take root, shaping their behaviors.

Being human, though, we can have anger that prevents us from being accountable. Here are three anecdotes:

It’s a NO EXCUSES Moment For Management

Follow QBQ! on Periscope and Twitter using @QBQGuy

mgrs mirror final

The subject line in the email from Mandy’s manager said “Whereabouts?” and abruptly began with, “Where are you?”

Mandy, a 25-year-old shared employee, works for two organizations. The two entities—each with less than 50 staff—have financial connections and mutual marketplace interests. They collaborated in Mandy’s hiring and split her salary.

She began her employment two months ago—and now’s there’s a problem …